Happy Gratitude Day

Today is my favorite holiday. Well, my favorite Western holiday anyway. My favorite Japanese holiday is the Akita New Year's where ogres come down from the mountains and scare the crap out of children.

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!"

One might wonder, "why is Thanksgiving your favorite holiday?". Glad you asked. Simply put, it's basically Christmas without the presents and baby Jesus. The former is a stressful annoyance and the latter is an oft-debated hot-button issue.

The only thing I'm going to say about the religion thing is that it's something I realized our family didn't need to enjoy the holiday together. We used to go to Nativity plays and church on Christmas Eve and all that, but eventually we stopped going simply due to lack of interest. I was surprised the first time it happened, but eventually I figured out that, like Santa, it may add a certain flavor to things, but wasn't strictly necessary.

Which brings us to the presents. I don't remember exactly when, but there came a time in my life when I started to have to deal with the reality that you can't be just on the receiving end the rest of your life. One year, my parents gave me a certain amount of money and told me that this year I had to start buying gifts for other people. Don't get me wrong, I was actually pretty excited about it. I finally had the opportunity to make other people feel the way I did when I got something awesome from a person I loved.

However, I soon realized what a daunting task this is. In my young child brain, I learned that I had to factor in the following:

1. Budget- something I never really had to deal with before. How much should I spend on each person? Can I consolidate my brothers or grandparents together?

2. Extended family- it's easy to forget the people that you don't see on a daily basis. That magic household number of 5 becomes 8-10 depending on who's coming to Christmas that year and in the end somebody's going to get jilted because you barely have anything left over.

B-but, it's a spatula...of LOVE!

3. Individualism- everyone has different tastes and this is made more difficult by the fact that, as mentioned above, you don't seen certain family members all that often. The good news, if you're completely lost, you can ask a family member who's a bit closer to them. It also helps to have-

4. Wishlists- this is something I have to keep a running tab on all year because I'm the kind of person whom if you ask what they want on the spot, their answer will always be, "Um...". If I see something I want and don't write it down right away, I will forget. This has made for some interesting birthdays.
Of course the problem here is communication. If two or more people buy the same thing for the same person, the universe will explode.

"I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT HIM THE LOAFEeeeeers...!"

This is why I have a huge fondness for White Elephant and Secret Santa. The gifts don't have to be cheap or even brand new and it doesn't matter if the recipient loves or hates it since in the former case nobody knows what they're getting and in the latter you don't have to reveal who's santa you are if you completely blow it.

Totally wasn't me...

5. What's in stock- there have been times when I knew exactly what to get somebody, but I just couldn't find the damn thing. The nice thing is if you do manage to find what you're looking for, you feel like a big, damn hero. Especially if you avoided getting trampled to death to get it...

On the flipside, if you don't find it, your feeling of failure is directly related to how long you searched for it. The same goes if the recipient doesn't actually like it.

Which gets to my whole point: it feels like a huge social test or competition. I remember the disappointment I felt for the first time when I bought something for someone that I thought they would love and it turned to out to be the opposite case. Holidays should never be like that.

In the end, what you have left is a great day where you eat tons of the best food you'll ever eat all year, chat and play games with your family, and watch parades on TV.

Thanksgiving is literally never give you up,

never gonna let you down...

Except for the actual giving thanks part. It's important for people to stop and reflect on their lives every once and a while and it's probably a safe bet that the majority of people these days don't take the time to do it. It's part of the reason why I blog. Thanksgiving forces people to sit down and be grateful for the wonderful things in their lives and share them with others.

And so as I sit here in this office with my sleep-deprived, caffeiene-hungover brain, I can't help but express my gratitude to the people that put me here in life and made me the person I am today:

Pictured: still me.

-My parents. All four of them. I literally have two moms and two dads. Of course things are never perfect, but I wouldn't be who I am without you. From you I learned love and compassion, practicality and common sense, creativity, and the value of hard work.

-My parents-in-law. Thank you for your continuing encouragement and support.

-My little brother and twin brother. Couldn't have asked for better companions and friends growing up.

-My big brother and sister. Thank you for being good role models and friends.

-My husband. My best friend and constant companion. Some of the best things in life are unexpected and outside the norm. Thank you for reminding me to laugh and think outside the box.

-My old fencing instructor and his family for rounding up us misfits in high school and giving us a place to feel welcome.

Pictured: me in high school

-My old orchestra teacher in high school. I never knew a another teacher who believed in and loved her students more.

-Everyone at the Milwaukee School of Engineering and MAGE for making me feel like a part of something awesome.

-My Japanese professors at UW-Milwaukee. They're great people and advisors. Not many students are so lucky. I wouldn't be here without them.

-Everyone at the Japanese Consulate of Chicago for giving me this opportunity.

-All the teachers here for having the openmindedness and patience to accept me into their fold.

-All the ALT's I've had the fortune to meet. Thank you for your support and the constant reminders that we're all in this together.

Pictured: every ALT who ever lived

-All of my friends, old and new, here and everywhere. I may not get to see very many of you, but I cherish every unique and varied relationship.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, everywhere.

Your culture board is so jelly of my hand turkey.

***oh yeah, this is a blog about Japan...um...they don't celebrate it. At all. Sometimes they call it
感謝の日(Kansha no hi- "Gratitude Day"), but they never celebrate it. They don't get why turkey is a huge thing or what stuffing is...um...so...Happy Gratitude Day!***

Cultural Perspective

One of the things I think many people often ponder about is the subjectivity of time. For example, it's been almost 4 months since I've been here and yet there are both times when it feels like 1 day and others when it feels like a whole year. This creates a paradox when I reflect on my future because even though it may feel like I have all the time in the world, I know that it will all rush by in the span of a day if I let it.

This is amazing to me when I consider where I'm living which is, let's face it, the middle of nowhere. With so little to do in this small town, I wonder what on earth I've been doing to pass the time so quickly. I realize the answer is simple yet complex- living well. In a secluded, small town in the middle of a vast country and even prefecture, things are boiled down to the necessities of life where one can settle into a repetative yet comfortable routine. One of the great improvments to my life is that I have a stable job that starts and ends at the same time every day and fits the expected societal work-week (usually...).

www.readthesmiths.com

This was me the week of our school culture festival

It's well-known that Japanese people work long hours (one of the great challenges to the rising number of dual-working parent households which I've written a whole research paper about). In fact, people dying from overwork is such a problem that it has it's own word in Japanese, 過労死 (karoushi). However, here lies an example of how fixed worldviews can cause cultural misunderstanding and it's something every person on earth is guilty of at some point even if they don't realize it.

And then there are the ones that do...

 

In this particular instance, it's the subconcious thought that all of Japan is Tokyo (on the flip-side, most Japanese think all of America is New York and LA). When most non-Japanese think of Japan they conjure up images of bright lights, awesome trains, and buildings that reach the sky. In the same way, people that are conscious of Japanese work ethic think of trains stuffed to the gills with tired, black-suited men on their way to some office job hours away. And this image can be accurate when you're talking about Tokyo. Going from the city to the countryside, I was surprised once again at how the same culture can be so different within the same country. No, the train won't get me to work, but it's less than 5 minutes by car and I have the freedom to drive anywhere I want. Yes, we wear suits at school, but only in the winter when it's not boiling hot. Yes, they work ridiculously long hours, but the office environment is so relaxed and relationships so friendly yet professional that I myself don't mind staying a an extra hour or two even though it's not required of me (my contract stipulates an 8:30-4:15 work day with a 45 minute lunch break. Hah! My classes start at 8:35 and I eat with my students at lunch). You're treated as a person with things to contribute instead of a number in a machine.

Being that this is my first experience in the Japanese countryside, I was surprised by my own cultural ignorance when I started talking to my predecessor about what to expect. "What do you mean the train only runs once an hour!" (I laughed just the other day when I had to stop at a railroad crossing and saw that the train was only a measely two cars long...). "I'm going to need a car???!" "You use a kerosene-powered heater???"

"What do you mean there're no ninja trains?!!!"

 

Unfortunately, my expectations were also jaded by what I was told by Japanese people in Tokyo. It's amazing how many countries discriminate against their own people. Every Japanese person I talked to in Tokyo had a very negative view of the countryside. I even knew a teacher at Seijo University from Akita who spoke against her own prefecture vehemently. She spoke of a secluded place full of "hikikomori" (recluses and shut-ins afraid of society). When I heard that I had been placed in Akita for the JET program I panicked a little inside thanks to these prejudices.

After doing some research and talking to other ALTs in Akita, I began to wonder what she was talking about. The ALTs I talked to seemed very happy with where they were and I was surprised to find some newbies had actually requested it. After arriving I was stunned and I'm quite convinced that this is the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my entire life. I learned a valuable lesson in that sometimes you have to take what people say about their own country or culture with a grain of salt and I suspect that's true about any country.

Even if Japan has it's share of inter-cultural prejudices, I can definitely say that they do not take their country for granted. My Tokyo friends will even admit that even if they don't want to live in the countryside, they hold a very high opinion of it's natural beauty. The people that do live here in Akita place great value and pride on their prefecture for it's scenery and traditional culture (a lot of which those in the urban cities have to go quite a ways to see). They enthusiastically will point you in the right direction to famous places and events. As I mentioned before in a recent post, you can see Mount Choukai from our office window and whenever it's visible (a rare instance in the winter time), people actually stop and take the time to take in it's majesty while it's there.

Almost like a gigantic strip-tease...

 



That isn't to say that I don't miss the big city. I'm enjoying my time here, but all the while I'll be resisting the strong urge to run to Tokyo or Milwaukee where life seems to be happening without me while I sit here in the temporal bubble that is Akita. I miss my friends and being able to see them almost any time I want. I miss burritos and real pizza. I miss not having to own a car. By the time I finish my term here, I'll be so ready to jump back on that train of life.